Its about making memories worth repressing
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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