I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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