Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
