I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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