he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
