We won't sleep together?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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