seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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