So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
