She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
