i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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