I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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