I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
