Already got asked if we're dating
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
