I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
