Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
