i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
