dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize