I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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