I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
