Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
