it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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