Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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