glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
