dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
