so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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