What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
