I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize