walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
