tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You need Xanax blowdarts
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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