the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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