She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
