You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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