i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
