Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
