Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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