I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
