ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
