You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
