White coat. Heels.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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