you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
