she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
