Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
