My nipple is on Facebook.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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