was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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