He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize