you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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