Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love you. Go after that dick
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
