bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
