At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
