I think i peed on brittanys purse
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
