If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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