i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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