After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
