was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
