I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
