And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
