Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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