I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
