11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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