wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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