I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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