Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
