im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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