dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
