school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
